my real impressions of mockinjay (MAJOR SPOILERS!)

Okay, so I've posted before on what I thought of Mockingjay, but here's the very real, funnier version of my thoughts (because this is how my brain works)

Katniss: "AH there's a possibility that Gale helped make the bomb that killed Prim so I don't like him anymore, even if he didn't plan for her destruction at all!"

Katniss: "AH Gale's snogged other girls before he got to know me, so he's disloyal and I don't like him anymore!"


Katniss: "Huh.  Can't have Gale because of aforesaid reasons..." *Peeta walks by* Katniss: "AH!  PEETA I CHOOSE YOU!"  (said along the lines of "Pikachu I choose you!")


Katniss: "Peeta are I are good together, and we don't foresee any problems in our relationship because we're both mentally unstable, and that's a similarity that will make us get along, especially since Peeta has tried to kill me on multiple occasions and doesn't know truth from fantasy."

Gale to Peeta: "Have you noticed that she basically snogs us whenever she feels sorry for us or thinks we need a ego boost?"  Peeta: "Yeah, it's getting really annoying.  Apparently, snogging us just has nothing to do with her romantically liking us anymore.  She's kinda scaring me."

Katniss: "I'm super-smart and can understand most anything Gale or Peeta says UNTIL Gale wants me to shoot him when he's caught by the Capitol and then I don't understand his obvious signals at all."

Peeta: "Katniss I love you!  Katniss I hate you!  Katniss I love you!  Katniss I hate you!"

Tigris: "I'm just here to illustrate the horrific versions of plastic surgery and tattooing that the Capitol's people inflict on themselves.  And dude, fur leggings.  They're epic."

Haymitch: "So anyone wanna inform me if I'm good or evil?"

Finnick: *dead*

Katniss: "For taking no interest in clothes, I sure describe them a lot."


Epilogue: "Dude, I sound soooooooooo Harry Potter."

 Gale: "So much for my happy ending.  I'm off with a undetermined fancy job and am snogging fictional girls of Katniss' imagination off in District 2."

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so yeah, you probably figured out that I wrote this right after Mockingjay came out.  I'll maintain that these are still my views on the the book, and that this rather sarcastic and slightly rude post is only being posted because I'm simply scrambling to keep a coherent mind as the first quarter of school ended.  Ah!