Oh, Beetle... Beetle!

"Pamela Beetle-Gurney was not, to her great sadness, married to Brian Beetle for very long. ... Brian--- as Pamela would sadly tell people many years later--- blew up like a balloon and turned blue.  No one could save him. ... Mrs. Beetle was in a bad state.  The baby had cried all night, she cried all day and the last thing on her mind what what to call her baby boy.  So when the Registrar got out the Ledger of Names, dipped her pen in the ink and very gently asked Mrs. Beetle for the baby's name, all Mrs. Beetle could do was wail, "Oh, Beetle... Beetle!  ---which was what she had called Brian.  Beetle was duly registered as O. Beetle Beetle."  (Angie Sage, Septimus Heap: Queste, 575-576.) 

Doesn't it make you just want to read the books???  And seriously, the "slightly chubby boy" who is known to squeak like a hamster when a certain princess is around is truly the best fictional character ever...

The only thing that bums me out about the upcomming Septimus Heap: Magyk movie is that Beetle isn't going to be in it, as he doesn't show up until Septimus Heap: Flyte.  (Book two.)

"As the progressed along the wobbling planks, clinging onto the ice-cold handrails with numb fingers, the cries became louder and more desperate.  These bothered Beetle more than the bridge and he began to sing his own very special tunelss version of an old Castle favorite, "How Much Is That Weasel in the Window?"  For the first time ever, Septimus did not object."  (Angie Sage, Septimus Heap: Queste, 499). 

Actually, there are dozens of quotes about Beetle I would dearly love to post, but as I can't give much of a truly hilarous series away, I'll leave you with (Queste, page 367):

"G'night, Cockroach."